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As I was going to the work, it occurred to me that I am not really living my life. I thought I always wanted to keep myself busy so that I could make my day meaningful and live my life fully. But it never was meaningful nor full enough to satisfy me. I misunderstood that busy life is equal to a good life. I do not think that being lazy or just simply not doing anything is a good thing. For me, it was not always a bad thing. I kept myself busy so I did or could not procrastinate. I tend to overestimate myself thus used to think ‘oh I will do that later today since It only takes a hour for me’ and end up not finishing at that day. But after having two part-time jobs and studying for both school and other certificate, it never seemed to easy to take a break or procrastinate. I have had a limited time of 24 hours as equal as others and I do not want to fall behind. Thus, I work harder than before to not to fall behind and try to finish everything as soon as possible, since I don’t even have a clue what might come up in a couple of hours.
I do these things for myself and for my own benefits. I do not regret having two part-time jobs and that is not the point, actually. What I want to say is that if you keep yourself busy just like me, and a lot of Korean does, you will eventually find yourself exhausted and unmotivated. You will question yourself what are you doing this for. You HAVE TO rest and take some time for yourself. Resting is never a minor thing. Go do something that makes you happy. If you don’t have one, then make one. Do not say that you don’t have a time for that. Think about it, you always have a time for it and it does not take much time to make yourself happy. Do not live like someone behind you is chasing after you. Do not think what you did is not always enough. Do not let other people to be the criteria of your doing.
So far, I did not quit my jobs nor gave up on my study. I am just learning how to take care of myself and my life every day, every second. I watch Netflix while I am getting ready or before I go to sleep. I sometimes get up late when I am tired, and just put a little make up on than usual. I read my favorite books on a bus, check Melon everyday for new songs to cheer me up for a day. Working and studying, those are what I want and what I choose to do. But living my life without a little break? Feeling every second behind me is chasing me? That is not what I wanted. I do things for myself. What are you doing for yourself? Enjoy your time. It is never late, now go live your life.
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As I was going to work, it occurred to me that I am not really living my life. I thought I always wanted to keep myself busy so that I could make my day meaningful and live my life to the fullest. But it never was meaningful nor enough to satisfy me. I confused a busy life for a good life. I think that being lazy or just simply not doing anything is not a good thing. For me, it was not always a bad thing. I kept myself busy so I would not procrastinate. I tended to overestimate myself thus I used to think “Oh, I will do that later today since it only takes an hour for me,” and ended up not finishing that day. But after having two part-time jobs and studying for both school and other certifications, it never seemed easy to take a break or procrastinate. I have only 24 hours, just like everyone else, and I do not want to fall behind. Thus, I work harder than before to not fall behind and try to finish everything as soon as possible, since I do not even have a clue what might come up in a couple of hours.
I do these things for myself and for my own benefit. I do not regret having two part-time jobs and that is not the point, actually. What I want to say is that if you keep yourself busy, just like me—and a lot of Koreans do—you will eventually find yourself exhausted and unmotivated. You will question yourself about what you are doing this for. You HAVE TO rest and take some time for yourself. Resting is never a minor thing. Go do something that makes you happy. If you do not have one, then make one. Do not say that you do not have a time for that. Think about it: you always have time for it, and it does not take much time to make yourself happy. Do not live like someone behind you is chasing after you. Do not think that what you did is not enough. Do not let other people to set the criteria for your actions.
So far, I did not quit my jobs nor give up on my study. I am just learning how to take care of myself and my life every day, every second. I watch Netflix while I am getting ready or before I go to sleep. I sometimes get up late when I am tired, and just put a little more make up on than usual. I read my favorite books on a bus, check Melon every day for new songs to cheer me up for the day. Working and studying, those are what I want and what I choose to do. But living my life without a little break? Feeling like every second is slipping away? That is not what I wanted. I do things for myself. What are you doing for yourself? Enjoy your time. It is never too late, now go live your life.
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